The panties match.
I'll be right there.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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