she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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