When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
