tell your sister to shave her snatch
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
