she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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