Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
