that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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