Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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