I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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