No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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