I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
