they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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