The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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