Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
