After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
