I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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