I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
