What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Less talking, more tequila
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
