Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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