your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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