so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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