It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
