She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
