Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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