i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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