My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
