One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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