Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
