i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
