just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
