Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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