the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
