oh god the rape fog is back!
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
