tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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