There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
