We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
