i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just googled if crying burns calories
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
