I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
