I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
