"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
