those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
