i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
There's always time for handjobs
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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