I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
