Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
