well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
