There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
