You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
