Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
