It's Friday. Sex?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
