I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
