For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
