I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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