If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
