she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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