it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you would pick up someone in the library
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
