I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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