end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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