I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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