This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
