What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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