he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
