When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
