Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
