the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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