why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
