is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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