I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
